Dear fellow explorers,
Who are you?… really…
In the last months, we explored how the INNER FACE-TIME of COVID-19 is changing our perceptions of reality and triggering deep psycho-emotional challenges.
COVID has wrought changes in our individual sense of ‘self’ that behind the reported surge in drug and alcohol use and ‘mental health’ issues now resembles an ‘existential’ pandemic.
So, why should INNER FACE-TIME make an existential difference?
Simply, because we derive our sense of ‘self’ from that which we identify with.
Not only has isolation delivered social and economic disconnect with outer world experience, the absence of ‘normal’ interaction with and validation from outer others is requiring us to more deeply inquire: Who am I?
This was clearly illustrated by a lady who after having lost her job of 30 years, said: “I don’t know who I am more!”
She is not alone! Even if it seems only to be happening to others, we are in our own unique way all going through a COVID sparked ‘Who am I’ journey?
It works something like this…
Far beyond any perception to the contrary, our physical form is never entirely disconnected from our innate Nature – our unique Soul Center.
This is our true (Soul Centered) self identify.
We do not have to do anything to create this – It already is. For Soul Center is never disconnected from the Singular Source Energy Field that underlies what we perceive as our material reality.
The interconnected Source Field is holographic in nature. Soul Center is the source of our Soul Centered Self identify – the transcendental awareness that, beyond perception flows from Soul Center.
Soul Center reflects the ‘meta’ aspect of the ‘metaphysical’(mind<>physical) nature of human experience.
The ‘physical’ aspect of Soul Centered experience rests (in part) on the fundamental particles, atoms, elements and molecules of Energy comprising our physical vehicle that are never disconnected from the Source Field.
The ‘physical’ aspect begins (at least) at the moment of conception. It develops through the womb centered relationship with mother energy and through our birth family into some sense of gender, cultural and societal oriented personal identity.
Self identity is shaped by those we choose to associate with as well as those we compete with.
It becomes hardwired through education and working life in response to the validation (or lack of validation) we perceive from peers, friends (and enemies) along the way.
Yet unless and until we remain in or come into the fullness of Soul Centered Self identity, we make a Separated Self identity.
This arises from (and maintained) by the forgetting (denial) of Soul Center and projection of our perception of Separate existence.
It happens by identifying ourselves by an assumption based perception that the cause of our physical being and circumstantial experience is determined by random forces entirely disconnected (Separated) from oneself.
Separated Self identity can be imagined as a large cake, the ingredients of which are made from outer circumstances – the apparently disconnected ‘separate’ things and others that reflect this self identity.
Our efforts to secure approval, prestige, adulation power, and promotion from others are always efforts to prove our Separated Self identity
The difference between Soul Centered and Separated Self identity is qualitative.
It is completely up to us! We are the ones who can, in every moment choose whether to reinforce a sense of Separated Self Identity or allow ourselves to ease into Soul Center.
If we define ourselves only through our Soul center, Self identity is ever present Now! There is nothing lacking that can be attributed to a ‘past’. There is nothing to prove in a ‘future’.
Conversely, the uncertain version of a Separated Self has no real foundation. It carries an anxiety driven Emptiness – an unworthiness that seems past’ oriented and seeks ‘future’ oriented validation through interaction with apparently separate others and circumstances.
To maintain itself, Separated Self identity desires, above all else, control over its perceived reality – so every interaction of the Separated Self is physically, or psycho-emotionally adversarial.
Real self acknowledgement never occurs, because it has no foundation. It remains an unhealed existential wound as we move through various stages of our physical experience.
As Soul Centered Self identity is ‘meta-physical’. The meta (mind) aspect of human existence is designed to go hand in hand with the physical experience of it.
If lost in Separated Self identity this cannot happen; hence the existential ‘crisis’ triggered by COVID lockdowns.
Yet, behind perception, the Source Field is a dynamic and constant spiral of Creation through the being (contraction) and becoming (expansion) of itself.
It contracts by turning outside in and expands by turning inside out.
This means the Energy that underlies the meta-physical aspect of human experience flows as a multi-dimensional life Spiral – not as a linear life-cycle!
It begins (at least) at conception when what is inside (the egg), begins to turn outside into the emerging fetus.
This is the point at which inner ‘being’ starts to turn into outer ‘becoming’.
The physical aspect of experience expands through iterative stages of puberty, then adult maturity.
Every stage and experience of physical life, offers a meta reflection of physical Self identity.
Ideally, physical changes are always in synch with the Meta (mind) aspect of Soul Centered Self identity.
However if mired in Separated Self identity, the physical aspect of being seems disconnected from the ‘meta’ (Soul center). So no matter our stage of life, physical experience of Self identity is not in synch with the Meta (mind) aspect of Soul Center.
This is behind the existential (self image/identity) challenges – the angst and uncertainty of childhood, puberty and teenage years that more likely than not, is experienced as depression in later years…
Then, at a uniquely individual point in our physical lives, what is outside begins to turn back inside.
This is a ‘change of life point’ in which in a physical sense, the expanding (‘becoming’) phase of life begins the process of turning back contracting into ‘being’.
It signals a time for the physical aspect of life to start to become more inwardly focused into Soul Center, rather than outwardly focused.
If anchored in Soul Centered Self identity; the ‘change of life point’ is experienced as a new stage of meta-physical experience offering new aspects of Self to explore. It does not mean life stops expanding. Rather, it is means a change of emphasis.
The change of life point is not limited to the ‘menopause’ that signals hormonal change and decline in female fertility. Because the masculine (electric) and feminine (magnetic) aspects of energy are inseparable, menopause has a less tangible though no less significant male equivalent.
In this, the change of life point’ triggers a more subtle hormonal change and ‘self identification’ challenge – an existential turmoil commonly known as a ‘mid-life crisis’ that is not gender specific.
The change of life point’ is a physically based challenge to Separated Self identity in which its unrealizable desire is to resist the ‘meta’ calling of Soul Center – to hold on to – to try and reclaim the physical Separated Self identity of the becoming stage of life.
No matter our stage of life experience, COVID lockdowns have unearthed deeper levels of the Emptiness based ‘stuff’ we have around our Separated Self identity.
We all know the grief that can come at the loss of a loved one, an illness or loss of some physical function,
Yet what is perhaps not so well recognized is the extent to which such loss hits our Separated Self identity.
This is because what seems lost, represents a piece of our Separated Self identity that is suddenly no longer available to reinforce it. It is as if a slice of our Separated Self identity ‘cake’ is removed and only the void of Separated Self Emptiness remains.
I hope this has offered some food for thought about who ‘you’ really are and sheds some light on what you may be feeling within your ‘self’ on your COVID inspired ‘Who am I’ journey?.
Ultimately, the spiritual path is one of following the inner calling of Soul Center!
The looking for what one’s Soul Center is calling us to – is a grand paradox. For the part of us that is doing the looking – is the Soul center!
This can for a time make it more rather than less difficult to define ourselves in a deeply authentic and meaningful way. As the more we get to know from a Soul centered perspective, the less we can self identify in the way we used to…
A quick tool I use to re-align with Soul Center when I feel out of synch, is to simply sit quietly and breathe gently and from that state allow my thoughts and feelings to wander and bring to mind any person, aspect or situation in my life (whether past or present) I feel unhappy about or upset by – and affirm my deep acceptance of it, just the way it is! The deeper the acceptance, the better the result.
This may seem too simple to make a difference. It may feel impossible. But I know from experience that with the right intention, it can shift mountains of Separated Self identity ‘stuff’. It really is worthwhile trying to fake it till you make it!
As always, I would love to receive any questions or hear your receive your questions experiences. If you would like some help with something you are dealing with, please contact me.
Until next time, please stay safe and well!
A ‘Reset Point’
Dear fellow explorers,
Wow! What an extraordinary time of environmental, social, economic and political upheaval we have been (and are now) experiencing, both individually and collectively!
From our unprecedented recently past fires, storms and floods, to our newly unprecedented COVID-19 pandemic, to goodness knows what else may be coming down the ‘pipeline’!
COVID-19 is challenging us all on a physical level. It is challenging us psycho-emotionally and it is challenging us existentially. No corner of the world, no aspect of human life or expression is untouched.
It is producing such contrast between inner and outer sensory experience that it is stretching us to the limit. It is challenging our usual assumptions of things like cause and effect and many others. It is exposing every polarity of separation perception personally, socially, politically and economically.
It is bringing up our ’Stuff’ in every possible way! Even as we are feeling separate in ourselves and from others as a ‘separated self’, we are being required to ‘self isolate’. Even as the collective will demands social restrictions for the greater good’, we feel and see the resistance of individual will: Please do this… No, I will do that…
It has become clear to me that COVID-19 is a fundamental reset point for humanity.
We are all in this COVID-19 reset together. Yet we are in unchartered waters. There is no guarantee on how, when, or even ‘if’ this will end. We can have no expectations. There is no guarantee that life as we may now recall it will ever entirely resume ‘normal’ service…
There are many contrasting levels of this for us to to experience and explore, especially the greater context for our lives that: We are all inseparable aspects of a Singular Omniverse – an omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent ‘Singular Source Energy Field’ which remains undisturbed.
Singularity is always in balance as its essential Equilibrium enables the endless sustaining of it. As a ‘Singularity’ every aspect mirrors itself which means our every inner and outer sensory experience contains at some level, a reflection of our relative alignment to Singularity.
Perhaps this COVID-19 reset reflects an Omniversal calling to remember our Singularly interconnected, inter-related and inter-dependent heritage – to remember that we are not disconnected from each other; to get to know ourselves as we truly are as opposed to the self we think we are… In this, our current need for self isolation represents the greatest of cosmic jokes!
Perhaps COVID-19 is reflecting that as a human collective, we have become unsustainably ‘self serving’; that we have individually and collectively reached an unsustainably ‘self destructive’ level of not caring about each other; the Earth and its life streams – If so, this COVID-19 reset is a Singular calling for us, individually and collectively, to become more ‘self sharing’.
This Singular calling is from the omnipresence of our very existence which, for each of us represents our ’Soul Center’. This means each one of us has a unique Soul Centered, ‘spiritual path’ of growth in and through these challenging times.
The way of this calling through current social isolation represents an opportunity to go deeply inward – to reflect, contemplate, imagine and re-envision our lives individually and collectively, not as separated parts, but as parts of a greater whole.
This is, of course very challenging to our ordinary (separated) way of perceiving reality. The ’stuff’ we are feeling right Now reflects our feelings of disconnection, lack of support, lack of deep meaning and purpose that stem from Separation Thought.
This ’stuff’ reflects the ‘Emptiness’ of the ‘separated self’ we perceive ourselves, and sense as originating somewhere in our ‘past’ (attributed to childhood challenge, abuse, trauma or otherwise), which we try to project as something to be fixed in our ‘future’.
The ways of the ‘separated self’ (denial, anger and projection) are becoming increasingly self destructive and can only take us into even darker times.
The big challenge is that Separation Thought produces associations of feeling and thought based habitual behaviours that merely reinforce that Thought.
We don’t like to feel because of the Emptiness our ‘stuff’’ represents. So we try to rationalize it; to ‘think it away’ through different Separation Thoughts.
This was tellingly (and hilariously) reflected recently as our collective perception by a world leader who stated that: ‘feeling’ is not a good ‘thought’ process!!!
Our everyday coping behaviours are becoming increasingly less effective. We can try to ‘medicate’ our stuff away through our individual behavioural attachments and addictions, whether by binge consuming this or binge watching that. Yet whilst these things may momentarily take the edge off the extremes of what we are feeling, unless our underlying mind set changes, there can be no real relief.
Beyond perception, there is nothing that is separated from anything else. Beyond perception, the thoughts and feelings of our stuff are inseparable. So it is not possible just to ‘think’ our way through this COVID-19 reset point’, we have to ‘feel’ it too. And, we have to process what we are feeling!
As Singularity is omnipresent, this cannot happen in a ‘future’. It can only happen ‘Now’ – through the omnipresence of this Now Moment
Whilst we generally process Emptiness by projecting (seeing) it as a ‘fault’ in another person or thing, the fast track to healing from the Emptiness of Separation Thought and bring balance to our life experience, requires something very different.
For, as Singularity is omnipresent, healing cannot happen in a ‘future’. It can only happen ‘Now’ in the omnipresence of this Now Moment. The ‘fast track’ to healing requires us to get deeply present to our Now Moment experience – to allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling Now without judgment and without trying to make it go away. This enables us to observe our moments of denial and become aware of the ways in which we project our Emptiness onto others.
This fast track to healing calls us to become more in service to each other. By taking the focus off ‘self serving’ ourselves; by letting go (forgiving) our judgments and resentment of others; we shift into new levels of acceptance of self and others and discover countless ways in which we can be more ‘Soul Self sharing’.
Getting present to what is in our heart, restores connection with our Inner Guidance and unlocks an untapped reservoir of Soul Centered creativity. Through this, we discover new levels of empathy and compassion; of cooperation and collaboration and abilities to assist and support others who are doing it tough. Through this, we open our minds to hitherto unimagined ways of living and growing together. As we do so, the growth of the individual expands the collective which in turn supports the individual to grow.
Indeed, this Singular COVID-19 calling offers potential for the heralding of a new dawn of human awareness – a new ‘golden age’ for humanity – not in terms of a better material world as we have known it but rather as a shared co-creative experience, founded in a greater awareness of our Singular heritage.
On many levels, seen and unseen, we really are all in this together.
So, until next time, please stay present and stay safe!
Sending much love and well wishes.
What are you really worth?
Hello dear fellow explorers,
As someone who grew up experiencing a lot of unworthiness, I can look back and see how that both shaped and limited my life experience in many different ways. At some point along my own many years on my spiritual path, I began to realize that pretty well everyone on the planet is, in her or his unique way, working with and through the same thing!
A great paradox in our lives is that as kids we are encouraged to develop ‘self worth’. Yet which ‘self’ is it that we are talking about?
The only unconditional answer I’ve found lies in the quantum premise that we are all unique yet indivisible aspects of one, all encompassing and embracing ‘Singularity’. This ‘All that is’, this ‘Omniversal Energy Field’ is always unconditionally complete within itself. As there is nothing outside of it, it represents a state of ‘non-attachment’. This means it is also a state of ‘non judgment’!
As unique yet indivisible aspects of the ‘Singularity’, our true ‘Self’ can only be our ‘Soul Centered Self’.
Lack of self worth, reflects ‘self judgment’. Yet as the Singular ‘All that is’ represents a state of non-judgment, it cannot forgive, because it cannot judge!
This means the self that lacks worth cannot be the ‘Soul Centered Self’ – It can only be a sense of ‘self’ we have that has forgotten our Soul Center and feels separate it – a ’Separated Self’.
As the ’Separated Self arises only in the forgetting of Soul Center, it reflects a sense of ‘Emptiness’ about our being and our lives. This is that sense of lack of disconnection; that uneasy anxiety; that sense of something missing in our lives.
The Separated Self loves its Separated Will yet hates its Emptiness in equal measure. It projects its love for itself by seeking ‘Separated Self worth’, yet its Emptiness precludes it from unconditionally accepting itself. There is no Other that can prove to the Separated Self that it is worthy, because its Emptiness tells it – it is not!
This Emptiness is the root cause of all of our feelings of ‘unworthiness’, however they may be described, defined or interpreted.
Because the Singular ‘All that is’ reflects a state of Unconditional Love, our issues with self worth are ultimately about being worthy of Love. The essence of the fear of not ‘being enough’ of not ‘having enough’ is of not ‘being worthy’ of ‘Love’.
You are unique in all the worlds. There is no being exactly like you. The‘All that is’ cannot judge one more worthy than another. Adversely comparing oneself with other is but a judgment of oneself. Seeking approval of another is mission impossible.
Real ‘Self worth’ can only be claimed by each of us here and now. It can only be given to you, by you. There is no one else. There is nothing coming in the ‘future’, whether imagined in terms of bucket list achievement; a ‘right one’ or otherwise, that can ever evidence your ‘worth’ to you. It is simply not possible!
We can do it because it is already our natural state. As immutably Soul Centered beings, we are already worthy. We have never been without it. Whilst we may seem able to forget this for a moment, it cannot ever, ever be taken from us.
If you are already feeling worthy, or feeling more worthy that you used to that is great. Yet there is always more. Unconditional Love is infinite. It is the spiritual path, to be and become ever more deeply the embodiment of Love.
We just have to keep reminding ourselves to believe it! We just have to keeping looking more deeply for the unique ‘All that is’ in each other.
Until next time… please, please be kind you yourself…