Dear friends,
Last month I wrote that the contrast between outer experience and our inner processing of it is the absolute common denominator in all human experience.
As 2025 gathers momentum, I have been struck by the enormous contrast between ‘truth’ and ‘lies’ that is playing out in so many outer aspects (whether social media, politics or otherwise) of this fast changing world.
Whilst of course the outward picture is important, even more so, is the revealing of the contrast between the truth of who we were born to be and the contrary lies we have told ourselves about who that is.
Very few humans ever truly become the full embodiment and expression of the potential we are born with. From early childhood almost all of us develop into an inauthentic self, a ‘false self’ that masks and shadows the truth of our natural birthright. This is the deepest lie that we tell ourselves.
The false self we develop in response to early childhood trauma has been built to keep us safe. We maintain it by running repetitive patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Yet the essential in-authenticity of the false self only prevents us from fully experiencing the potential of the life we came here to live.
Even if not conscious of it, we all know deep down that this is true. Yet most of us keep repeating this lie, by replaying early childhood trauma responses, by repeating self limiting and self-sabotaging thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
In every day and way, it shows up as an inner critic and habitual behavioural patterns that overshadow a profound inner emptiness and incapacity to experience real fulfilment that persists, no matter the momentary satisfaction of any outer achievement.
This emptiness reflects the deepest level of our lack of self acceptance. For all of us, the great work of life is to achieve self acceptance. To paraphrase psychologist, Imi Lo, Life is not about becoming a perfect human (you already are). It is about learning to perfect the love you have for yourself! The work is the gentle dismantling of the false ego personality. This allows the resurrection of the authentic self which has never been lost, merely obscured by the false self. The vanishing point is to reach unconditional forgiveness of ourselves for ever believing we were defective, lacking of unworthy of everything that the pure nature of our existence has to offer.
There is no ‘right way’ for everyone, but there is a right way for you. It is up to each of us to find it.
Namaste!
Andrew Solomon
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