The Covid reshaping of identity (31 May 2020)

Apr 30, 2021

Dear fellow explorers,

Who are you?… really…

In the last months, we explored how the INNER FACE-TIME of COVID-19 is changing our perceptions of reality and triggering deep psycho-emotional challenges.

COVID has wrought changes in our individual sense of ‘self’ that behind the reported surge in drug and alcohol use and ‘mental health’ issues now resembles an ‘existential’ pandemic.

So, why should INNER FACE-TIME make an existential difference?

Simply, because we derive our sense of ‘self’ from that which we identify with.

Not only has isolation delivered social and economic disconnect with outer world experience, the absence of ‘normal’ interaction with and validation from outer others is requiring us to more deeply inquire: Who am I?

This was clearly illustrated by a lady who after having lost her job of 30 years, said: “I don’t know who I am more!”

She is not alone! Even if it seems only to be happening to others, we are in our own unique way all going through a COVID sparked ‘Who am I’ journey?
It works something like this…

Far beyond any perception to the contrary, our physical form is never entirely disconnected from our innate Nature – our unique Soul Center.

This is our true (Soul Centered) self identify.

We do not have to do anything to create this – It already is. For Soul Center is never disconnected from the Singular Source Energy Field that underlies what we perceive as our material reality.

The interconnected Source Field is holographic in nature. Soul Center is the source of our Soul Centered Self identify – the transcendental awareness that, beyond perception flows from Soul Center.
Soul Center reflects the ‘meta’ aspect of the ‘metaphysical’(mind<>physical) nature of human experience.

The ‘physical’ aspect of Soul Centered experience rests (in part) on the fundamental particles, atoms, elements and molecules of Energy comprising our physical vehicle that are never disconnected from the Source Field.

The ‘physical’ aspect begins (at least) at the moment of conception. It develops through the womb centered relationship with mother energy and through our birth family into some sense of gender, cultural and societal oriented personal identity.

Self identity is shaped by those we choose to associate with as well as those we compete with.

It becomes hardwired through education and working life in response to the validation (or lack of validation) we perceive from peers, friends (and enemies) along the way.

Yet unless and until we remain in or come into the fullness of Soul Centered Self identity, we make a Separated Self identity.

This arises from (and maintained) by the forgetting (denial) of Soul Center and projection of our perception of Separate existence.

It happens by identifying ourselves by an assumption based perception that the cause of our physical being and circumstantial experience is determined by random forces entirely disconnected (Separated) from oneself.

Separated Self identity can be imagined as a large cake, the ingredients of which are made from outer circumstances – the apparently disconnected ‘separate’ things and others that reflect this self identity.

Our efforts to secure approval, prestige, adulation power, and promotion from others are always efforts to prove our Separated Self identity

The difference between Soul Centered and Separated Self identity is qualitative.

It is completely up to us! We are the ones who can, in every moment choose whether to reinforce a sense of Separated Self Identity or allow ourselves to ease into Soul Center.

If we define ourselves only through our Soul center, Self identity is ever present Now! There is nothing lacking that can be attributed to a ‘past’. There is nothing to prove in a ‘future’.

Conversely, the uncertain version of a Separated Self has no real foundation. It carries an anxiety driven Emptiness – an unworthiness that seems past’ oriented and seeks ‘future’ oriented validation through interaction with apparently separate others and circumstances.

To maintain itself, Separated Self identity desires, above all else, control over its perceived reality – so every interaction of the Separated Self is physically, or psycho-emotionally adversarial.

Real self acknowledgement never occurs, because it has no foundation. It remains an unhealed existential wound as we move through various stages of our physical experience.

As Soul Centered Self identity is ‘meta-physical’. The meta (mind) aspect of human existence is designed to go hand in hand with the physical experience of it.

If lost in Separated Self identity this cannot happen; hence the existential ‘crisis’ triggered by COVID lockdowns.
Yet, behind perception, the Source Field is a dynamic and constant spiral of Creation through the being (contraction) and becoming (expansion) of itself.

It contracts by turning outside in and expands by turning inside out.

This means the Energy that underlies the meta-physical aspect of human experience flows as a multi-dimensional life Spiral – not as a linear life-cycle!

It begins (at least) at conception when what is inside (the egg), begins to turn outside into the emerging fetus.

This is the point at which inner ‘being’ starts to turn into outer ‘becoming’.

The physical aspect of experience expands through iterative stages of puberty, then adult maturity.
Every stage and experience of physical life, offers a meta reflection of physical Self identity.

Ideally, physical changes are always in synch with the Meta (mind) aspect of Soul Centered Self identity.

However if mired in Separated Self identity, the physical aspect of being seems disconnected from the ‘meta’ (Soul center). So no matter our stage of life, physical experience of Self identity is not in synch with the Meta (mind) aspect of Soul Center.

This is behind the existential (self image/identity) challenges – the angst and uncertainty of childhood, puberty and teenage years that more likely than not, is experienced as depression in later years…

Then, at a uniquely individual point in our physical lives, what is outside begins to turn back inside.

This is a ‘change of life point’ in which in a physical sense, the expanding (‘becoming’) phase of life begins the process of turning back contracting into ‘being’.

It signals a time for the physical aspect of life to start to become more inwardly focused into Soul Center, rather than outwardly focused.
If anchored in Soul Centered Self identity; the ‘change of life point’ is experienced as a new stage of meta-physical experience offering new aspects of Self to explore. It does not mean life stops expanding. Rather, it is means a change of emphasis.

The change of life point is not limited to the ‘menopause’ that signals hormonal change and decline in female fertility. Because the masculine (electric) and feminine (magnetic) aspects of energy are inseparable, menopause has a less tangible though no less significant male equivalent.

In this, the change of life point’ triggers a more subtle hormonal change and ‘self identification’ challenge – an existential turmoil commonly known as a ‘mid-life crisis’ that is not gender specific.

The change of life point’ is a physically based challenge to Separated Self identity in which its unrealizable desire is to resist the ‘meta’ calling of Soul Center – to hold on to – to try and reclaim the physical Separated Self identity of the becoming stage of life.

No matter our stage of life experience, COVID lockdowns have unearthed deeper levels of the Emptiness based ‘stuff’ we have around our Separated Self identity.

We all know the grief that can come at the loss of a loved one, an illness or loss of some physical function,

Yet what is perhaps not so well recognized is the extent to which such loss hits our Separated Self identity.

This is because what seems lost, represents a piece of our Separated Self identity that is suddenly no longer available to reinforce it. It is as if a slice of our Separated Self identity ‘cake’ is removed and only the void of Separated Self Emptiness remains.

I hope this has offered some food for thought about who ‘you’ really are and sheds some light on what you may be feeling within your ‘self’ on your COVID inspired ‘Who am I’ journey?.
Ultimately, the spiritual path is one of following the inner calling of Soul Center!
The looking for what one’s Soul Center is calling us to – is a grand paradox. For the part of us that is doing the looking – is the Soul center!

This can for a time make it more rather than less difficult to define ourselves in a deeply authentic and meaningful way. As the more we get to know from a Soul centered perspective, the less we can self identify in the way we used to…

A quick tool I use to re-align with Soul Center when I feel out of synch, is to simply sit quietly and breathe gently and from that state allow my thoughts and feelings to wander and bring to mind any person, aspect or situation in my life (whether past or present) I feel unhappy about or upset by – and affirm my deep acceptance of it, just the way it is! The deeper the acceptance, the better the result.

This may seem too simple to make a difference. It may feel impossible. But I know from experience that with the right intention, it can shift mountains of Separated Self identity ‘stuff’. It really is worthwhile trying to fake it till you make it!

As always, I would love to receive any questions or hear your receive your questions experiences. If you would like some help with something you are dealing with, please contact me.

Until next time, please stay safe and well!

Inner Face-time – The healing opportunity of Covid (30 April 2020)

Apr 30, 2021

Dear fellow explorers,

Last month, we explored COVID-19 as a reset point – a calling to remember the Singular (Omniversal) nature of our interconnected, inter-related, inter-dependent existence and purpose.

A mere month later, the COVID-19 reset has proved comprehensively game changing.

It has equalized human experience beyond any other imaginable means. It has exposed polarities of perception; inequalities all around the world individually, culturally, socially, politically and economically.

The unpredictable behaviour, symptoms and possible side effects of the virus, continues to challenge us in countless ways.

The news stream of human tragedy has brought us a little closer in remembering our common humanity. Sadly, it has delivered an intensification of what are for many already challenging circumstances In the stories of suffering and ‘physical death’, whom amongst us has not contemplated our own mortality – our own ‘Departure’?

In every conceivable way, COVID-19 is pushing us to re-imagine and re-create ourselves anew.

So, how are we doing?

Lockdowns are delivering huge contrast between the inner and outer aspects of our physical, psycho-emotional and existential experience.

Clearly, each of us is having a uniquely different experience. Yet equally our individual experience is subtly reshaping collective experience.

This reshaping is fundamentally one of relationship.

Enforced requirements to set aside our immediate desires, to moderate our individual will to that which is for the greater good, is requiring us to re-evaluate and reset our choices and priorities around relationship.

Many have embraced social isolation as an opportunity to reach out to others and in so doing have rediscovered the value of relationship.

Many are finding a new willingness to assist others who are ‘doing it tough’. Many are developing new levels of tolerance, empathy and compassion; discovering the value of cooperation and collaboration and valuing a stronger sense of community.

For some, it has sparked a greater appreciation of what we do have as opposed to yearning for what we don’t have. For some this means needing and spending less.

We are discovering new avenues of communication that are enabling us to connect and communicate with each other in a new light – perhaps even to see – that we are not so different (separate) after all.

Our new rallying cry: ‘We are all in this together’ is potentially much more than a motivational mantra.

Rather, it represents a call to reflect on our common existential reality – to remember that in a fundamental way, we are never disconnected from any other or thing.

In the greater context, COVID-19 is an opportunity to get to know ourselves as we truly are – as opposed to the self we think we are… For whilst social isolation diminishes the outer experience of relationship with others, it intensifies the inner relationship with oneself.

Even as social isolation increases personal (physical) relationship, boundaries it brings us face to face with ourselves.
This is real ‘Face-Time’!

The Inner Face-Time of social isolation can feel very uncomfortable, as it is easier to be inauthentic amongst others than it is to be inauthentic by oneself.

Inner Face-Time is bringing us face to face with the ‘Emptiness’ of Separation Thought.

The interplay between the rational and intuitive aspects of mind – our emotional and mental states reflects our ‘psycho-emotional mindset.

Yet, this only operates in balance if we are in alignment with our Soul Centre.

If not in alignment, a gap’ develops between the ‘Soul Centered being’ we truly are – and the (‘Separated) ‘self’ we perceive ourselves to be.

This ‘gap’ ’is an belief in an ‘i’ as a ‘Something’ – a ‘me’ as opposed to‘you’ in a world disconnected from the interconnected ‘Everything’ – beyond which appears to be ‘Nothing’.

Separation Thought reflects a seemingly unbridgeable ‘gap’ between an apparently Separated ‘i’ (self) and the Soul Centered ‘I’ (Self).

This ‘gap’ gives rise to a pervading sense of lack—an ‘Emptiness’ that we experience as a subtle, inexplicable uneasiness or anxiety within our sense of being.

This Emptiness is ‘fear based’. It reflects the lack of connection with our Soul Centre. It has ¬many expressions. It is in the subtle sense of disconnection, that underlying anxiety of feeling lost, alone and unsupported, that inability to unconditionally trust life – trust ourselves and others.

Emptiness is reflected in our feelings of unworthiness, guilt and shame. It is in the sense of lack of real meaning and purpose to our lives.

It is clear that Inner Face-Time is triggering levels of Emptiness for many, sadly observable in the rising projection of anger and resentment and incidence of violence both domestic and otherwise.

In the pre- COVID-19 ‘normal’ it was easier to deflect, distract and alleviate the Emptiness of Separation Thought. Nowadays, even the bottle shop is a dwindling option for those needing a ‘tipple’ to cope with Inner Face-Time.

Separation Thought produces Polarities on every level of our perceived experience, most tangibly as ‘Thought-Feeling Polarity’. However thoughts and feelings are fundamentally inseparable.

It is not possible to ‘think our way’ out of Emptiness without having also to process what we are feeling.
We don’t like to feel our Emptiness, because its core sense of disconnection, anxiety and unworthiness feels overwhelmingly painful.

It is tempting to try to ‘think it away – to rationalize these feelings as caused by a force outside of ourselves – by seeing it as a ‘fault’ in a (Separated) ‘other’.

Yet, the challenge in feeling our Emptiness is to see it as a vital ‘healing’opportunity on our ‘spiritual path’.

The Inner Face-Time of enforced self isolation is supporting all of us on our ‘spiritual path’ – to become more present to what is in our hearts – to restore alignment with Soul Center – to unlock our Inner Guidance and realize hitherto untapped reservoirs of Soul Centered creativity.

Resisting feelings of Emptiness is futile. For that ‘which we resist – persists’!

After all, the Emptiness of Separation Thought is but the resistance to (denial of) Soul Centre.

The only ‘healing’ of Emptiness is to ‘get present’ – to dive into – to accept – and to surrender to what we are feeling.

The point of maximum acceptance of what we are feeling/experiencing, is the point of maximum Soul self empowerment.

This point is the place from which to call upon our personal ‘guides’ whether we know them as ‘Spirit’, ‘Soul’, ‘Source, Creator’, ‘God’, an ‘Ascended Master’; Angel or otherwise – to illuminate our way through Emptiness.

Once so called, our work is done, as if our acceptance is maximal, some level of healing of Emptiness is assured.

Although I have been on my ‘spiritual path’ for many years, Inner Face-Timeexperience is teaching me much. Whilst it has positively ‘persuaded’ me to a new exercise regime, I have realized how much I have taken the company of others for granted.

I have been surprised by the level of my own Emptiness based cabin fever’. I miss being able to hug my daughter and grand-daughter. I miss the stimulation of everyday social life; my café confabs with friends.

As my wife, Carole insightfully observed as we were trying to dodge and distance from others in the supermarket – ‘It takes a lot of energy to stay separate from each other’!

We truly are all in this together. As our journey continues, we can further open our minds to what this really means! We can open our minds to hitherto unimagined ways of living and growing together.

Whilst many are itching to get back to ‘normal’, others are expressing reluctance to return to ‘the way things were’. Inner Face-Time has already sparked a desire in many to find a better way of living and working together.

It is already impossible for us ever to return exactly to ‘the way things were’! We all know too well how little time it can take to form or change a habit and for a new one to take hold?

Yet as we individually engage our Inner Face-Time and heal more of our our Emptiness, we extend this growth to others. This expands the the collective which in turn supports the individual to grow – back into the remembering of interconnectedness.

Indeed, it is likely, many who have recovered from the virus (beginning with the initial shock of onset of symptom or positive diagnosis), may have had (and continue to have) life changing rites of passage, even ‘paranormal’ experiences such as ‘near death’, that for some will have sparked or reinvigorated their own spiritual path of Soul Self discovery.

Perhaps some of them will be the spiritual seekers, healers, teachers and wayshowers of tomorrow!

I’m sure there is much more you can add to this picture, so I would love to hear from you of your own COVID-19 observations and experiences.

Until next time, please stay safe.