Dear fellow explorers,
Who are you?… really…
In the last months, we explored how the INNER FACE-TIME of COVID-19 is changing our perceptions of reality and triggering deep psycho-emotional challenges.
COVID has wrought changes in our individual sense of ‘self’ that behind the reported surge in drug and alcohol use and ‘mental health’ issues now resembles an ‘existential’ pandemic.
So, why should INNER FACE-TIME make an existential difference?
Simply, because we derive our sense of ‘self’ from that which we identify with.
Not only has isolation delivered social and economic disconnect with outer world experience, the absence of ‘normal’ interaction with and validation from outer others is requiring us to more deeply inquire: Who am I?
This was clearly illustrated by a lady who after having lost her job of 30 years, said: “I don’t know who I am more!”
She is not alone! Even if it seems only to be happening to others, we are in our own unique way all going through a COVID sparked ‘Who am I’ journey?
It works something like this…
Far beyond any perception to the contrary, our physical form is never entirely disconnected from our innate Nature – our unique Soul Center.
This is our true (Soul Centered) self identify.
We do not have to do anything to create this – It already is. For Soul Center is never disconnected from the Singular Source Energy Field that underlies what we perceive as our material reality.
The interconnected Source Field is holographic in nature. Soul Center is the source of our Soul Centered Self identify – the transcendental awareness that, beyond perception flows from Soul Center.
Soul Center reflects the ‘meta’ aspect of the ‘metaphysical’(mind<>physical) nature of human experience.
The ‘physical’ aspect of Soul Centered experience rests (in part) on the fundamental particles, atoms, elements and molecules of Energy comprising our physical vehicle that are never disconnected from the Source Field.
The ‘physical’ aspect begins (at least) at the moment of conception. It develops through the womb centered relationship with mother energy and through our birth family into some sense of gender, cultural and societal oriented personal identity.
Self identity is shaped by those we choose to associate with as well as those we compete with.
It becomes hardwired through education and working life in response to the validation (or lack of validation) we perceive from peers, friends (and enemies) along the way.
Yet unless and until we remain in or come into the fullness of Soul Centered Self identity, we make a Separated Self identity.
This arises from (and maintained) by the forgetting (denial) of Soul Center and projection of our perception of Separate existence.
It happens by identifying ourselves by an assumption based perception that the cause of our physical being and circumstantial experience is determined by random forces entirely disconnected (Separated) from oneself.
Separated Self identity can be imagined as a large cake, the ingredients of which are made from outer circumstances – the apparently disconnected ‘separate’ things and others that reflect this self identity.
Our efforts to secure approval, prestige, adulation power, and promotion from others are always efforts to prove our Separated Self identity
The difference between Soul Centered and Separated Self identity is qualitative.
It is completely up to us! We are the ones who can, in every moment choose whether to reinforce a sense of Separated Self Identity or allow ourselves to ease into Soul Center.
If we define ourselves only through our Soul center, Self identity is ever present Now! There is nothing lacking that can be attributed to a ‘past’. There is nothing to prove in a ‘future’.
Conversely, the uncertain version of a Separated Self has no real foundation. It carries an anxiety driven Emptiness – an unworthiness that seems past’ oriented and seeks ‘future’ oriented validation through interaction with apparently separate others and circumstances.
To maintain itself, Separated Self identity desires, above all else, control over its perceived reality – so every interaction of the Separated Self is physically, or psycho-emotionally adversarial.
Real self acknowledgement never occurs, because it has no foundation. It remains an unhealed existential wound as we move through various stages of our physical experience.
As Soul Centered Self identity is ‘meta-physical’. The meta (mind) aspect of human existence is designed to go hand in hand with the physical experience of it.
If lost in Separated Self identity this cannot happen; hence the existential ‘crisis’ triggered by COVID lockdowns.
Yet, behind perception, the Source Field is a dynamic and constant spiral of Creation through the being (contraction) and becoming (expansion) of itself.
It contracts by turning outside in and expands by turning inside out.
This means the Energy that underlies the meta-physical aspect of human experience flows as a multi-dimensional life Spiral – not as a linear life-cycle!
It begins (at least) at conception when what is inside (the egg), begins to turn outside into the emerging fetus.
This is the point at which inner ‘being’ starts to turn into outer ‘becoming’.
The physical aspect of experience expands through iterative stages of puberty, then adult maturity.
Every stage and experience of physical life, offers a meta reflection of physical Self identity.
Ideally, physical changes are always in synch with the Meta (mind) aspect of Soul Centered Self identity.
However if mired in Separated Self identity, the physical aspect of being seems disconnected from the ‘meta’ (Soul center). So no matter our stage of life, physical experience of Self identity is not in synch with the Meta (mind) aspect of Soul Center.
This is behind the existential (self image/identity) challenges – the angst and uncertainty of childhood, puberty and teenage years that more likely than not, is experienced as depression in later years…
Then, at a uniquely individual point in our physical lives, what is outside begins to turn back inside.
This is a ‘change of life point’ in which in a physical sense, the expanding (‘becoming’) phase of life begins the process of turning back contracting into ‘being’.
It signals a time for the physical aspect of life to start to become more inwardly focused into Soul Center, rather than outwardly focused.
If anchored in Soul Centered Self identity; the ‘change of life point’ is experienced as a new stage of meta-physical experience offering new aspects of Self to explore. It does not mean life stops expanding. Rather, it is means a change of emphasis.
The change of life point is not limited to the ‘menopause’ that signals hormonal change and decline in female fertility. Because the masculine (electric) and feminine (magnetic) aspects of energy are inseparable, menopause has a less tangible though no less significant male equivalent.
In this, the change of life point’ triggers a more subtle hormonal change and ‘self identification’ challenge – an existential turmoil commonly known as a ‘mid-life crisis’ that is not gender specific.
The change of life point’ is a physically based challenge to Separated Self identity in which its unrealizable desire is to resist the ‘meta’ calling of Soul Center – to hold on to – to try and reclaim the physical Separated Self identity of the becoming stage of life.
No matter our stage of life experience, COVID lockdowns have unearthed deeper levels of the Emptiness based ‘stuff’ we have around our Separated Self identity.
We all know the grief that can come at the loss of a loved one, an illness or loss of some physical function,
Yet what is perhaps not so well recognized is the extent to which such loss hits our Separated Self identity.
This is because what seems lost, represents a piece of our Separated Self identity that is suddenly no longer available to reinforce it. It is as if a slice of our Separated Self identity ‘cake’ is removed and only the void of Separated Self Emptiness remains.
I hope this has offered some food for thought about who ‘you’ really are and sheds some light on what you may be feeling within your ‘self’ on your COVID inspired ‘Who am I’ journey?.
Ultimately, the spiritual path is one of following the inner calling of Soul Center!
The looking for what one’s Soul Center is calling us to – is a grand paradox. For the part of us that is doing the looking – is the Soul center!
This can for a time make it more rather than less difficult to define ourselves in a deeply authentic and meaningful way. As the more we get to know from a Soul centered perspective, the less we can self identify in the way we used to…
A quick tool I use to re-align with Soul Center when I feel out of synch, is to simply sit quietly and breathe gently and from that state allow my thoughts and feelings to wander and bring to mind any person, aspect or situation in my life (whether past or present) I feel unhappy about or upset by – and affirm my deep acceptance of it, just the way it is! The deeper the acceptance, the better the result.
This may seem too simple to make a difference. It may feel impossible. But I know from experience that with the right intention, it can shift mountains of Separated Self identity ‘stuff’. It really is worthwhile trying to fake it till you make it!
As always, I would love to receive any questions or hear your receive your questions experiences. If you would like some help with something you are dealing with, please contact me.
Until next time, please stay safe and well!